Anxious for nothing?! Yeah, right!

My parents came to visit us the other week, so Ruth and I thought we’d take them to St Fagans. Despite being bitterly cold we had a great time. One of the buildings that we looked at was the old pottery and kiln. If you wanted to there was the opportunity there to make your own clay pot on a wheel. None of us were daft enough to remove our hands from the warm protection that our gloves provided, but a young boy, there with his family, was :o)
As we watched he transformed this shapeless lump of red clay into a slightly smoother lump of clay. In the boys hands this lump changed shape a few more times, none of which were particularly recognisable, until it finally became something that you could describe as a pot.

This came to mind as I continued reading Paul’s letter the Philippians.

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Phil 4:4-7

Can Paul be serious when he says ‘do not be anxious’ for anything?
Surely we can’t help ourselves from worrying. It’s just natural.
Worry seems to come in faster than you can stop it. But here Paul is telling us how we can use our fretting as a fuel for fusion living: “Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.” v6 (Message)

Our worries can be shaped into prayers that command God’s authority and His peace!
I agree with Paul, that it’s beyond my understanding, but I trust God in the way that it defends me.
In my own small way I can say this works.

A few years ago now I was driving along the M25 just having picked put my parents from the airport. I was in the middle lane of a motorway packed with vehicles but despite this it was reasonably fast moving. Unbeknown to me the articulated lorry that was just behind me on the inside lane had begun to indicate that it intended to join my lane. The trouble was I was in its path and being as it was a European lorry the driver was on the left and was unable to even see my car. As it moved into my lane the lorry clipped the rear end of my Ford Orion spinning me round so that it crushed the bonnet of my car before spinning me round once more, crushing my boot and catapulting me off onto the hard shoulder. It was over in a second and the lorry driver didn’t feel a thing.
Now as I approach a lorry which I am about to pass on the motorway I find these anxious thoughts returning. However, I immediately allow thoughts of thanksgiving for God’s protection to shape these worries into prayer and praise.
What happens is that I begin to know His peace!

Our worries should not stay as worries, they can be sculpted into prayers; a declaration of trust in God’s protection, provision or guidance.

Filling you mind up.

It would seem that we are an easily fanatical people.
There’s no point denying it, we just appear to have a natural disposition towards fanaticism.

What am I talking about?
Well let me put it this way, how many of you sit down to watch the same soap opera every day?

Do you remember the first series of Pop Idol?
Of course you do. It didn’t matter where you were, there would be a certain time on a Saturday evening when TVs would flick on and all conversation suddenly revolved around who you preferred; Will or Gareth.
Did we ever bat an eyelid or think this was antisocial behaviour? Of course not.

Or what about the Olympics!
Do I know the first thing about curling? No! And yet I would get in from work, put on the TV with great anticipation to see what developments had occurred. I’d be on the edge of my seat without the faintest idea what was happening!

We all know how easily we can become fanatical. I’m as guilty as the next man. Bleak House or Master Chef Goes Large, it doesn’t matter, I will rearrange our schedule just to tune in.
In fact the other week Ruth and I went out for meal together. It was only Pizza Hut but we were enjoying our time together and thinking about going to the cinema afterwards. Then I suddenly realised that we hadn’t set the video for The Apprentice later in the evening. Without a second thought we decided unanimously that the cinema could wait until another time and we’d go home to catch up with who would be fired next. It felt the right thing to do :o)

We have an innate desire, indeed fanaticism, to fill our minds. We can’t help it.
It’s nothing new, things don’t really change.
In fact the Philippians were no different it would seem. In his letter to them Paul didn’t try to tell him to ignore this character trait, instead he suggested they use it. Focus it.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” Phil 4:8-9

Our minds are naturally fanatical.
That’s OK, work with it.
Let the same passion that draws you to the TV every time East Enders is on draw you to Christ. Become increasingly fanatical about the things that will build you up. Things that will build up and develop your faith.

I have recently become quite fanatical about the new David Crowder CD. That’s OK though, the more I listen the more I feel lifted up. I listen to it in the car on the way to work, going shopping, driving to house group, wherever. It focuses me on Christ and builds me up. It reminds me of who I am and who He is, where I am going and how He wants me to live.

Living memorials.

In the main square of the town where I grew up there is a memorial. It is a large stone, smoothly finished and etched with the names of all the young men who died defending their country during the two World Wars. Growing up in the town so many of the surnames mentioned were familiar, they could have been grand parents or great grand parents of people I went to school with.

The men listed on this memorial were no different from you or I, they could have been us, and seeing their names reminds us of the value of our home towns or cities. It also reminds us of how much it can cost to love a community, a town, a city or a nation. Defending it from enemy occupation.

This occurred to me as I read this passage from Psalm 92:12-15 (Amp) and the notion of us being ‘living memorials’ really hit home.

“The [uncompromisingly] righteous shall flourish like the palm tree [be long-lived, stately, upright, useful, and fruitful]; they shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon [majestic, stable, durable, and incorruptible].
Planted in the house of the Lord, they shall flourish in the courts of our God.
[Growing in grace] they shall still bring forth fruit in old age; they shall be full of sap [of spiritual vitality] and [rich in the] verdure [of trust, love, and contentment].
[They are living memorials] to show that the Lord is upright and faithful to His promises; He is my Rock, and there is no unrighteousness in Him.”

Fusion, our longing to live for God and to walk with Him, calls for us to lay down our lives daily in obedient service [worship]. We find our heart crying out to join with Paul in saying “for me, to live is Christ.”
We are called to be cross bearers, messengers of the Gospel in word and deed. Fusion does not entertain compromise. It hungers to be wholly Christ’s. We are called to live as ‘living memorials’ testifying to God’s greatness, His heroism in our rescue, and the permanent hope of salvation. To refuse the enemy victory in our lives, our family and all those whose paths cross ours.

No islands in church.

None of us are super-spiritual.
Not all of the time.
Not even our heroes [except Jesus of course] or leaders (which is why we earnestly pray for them!)

There are times when we will feel on top of the mountain, and then times when it feels like the mountain is on top of us. One of David Crowder’s songs describes it like this: “Sometimes You're further than the moon, Sometimes You're closer than my skin.”
Does that sound like one of your days?
Sure sounds like mine.

But we are never alone, in fact Jesus’ name ‘Immanuel’ is a promise to this effect in itself! David also wrote a song about the truth of this, he was confident that even though he may find himself at death’s door, he was not abandoned by his God.
Sometimes God’s presence in our lives takes the form of brother or sister in Christ. After all we are all part of Christ’s body, the church. God requires us to be there for each other.

Then Eliphaz from Teman spoke up: "Would you mind if I said something to you [Job]? Under the circumstances it's hard to keep quiet. You yourself have done this plenty of times, spoken words that clarify, encouraged those who were about to quit. Your words have put stumbling people on their feet, put fresh hope in people about to collapse. But now you're the one in trouble--you're hurting! You've been hit hard and you're reeling from the blow. But shouldn't your devout life give you confidence now? Shouldn't your exemplary life give you hope?
"Think! Has a truly innocent person ever ended up on the scrap heap? Do genuinely upright people ever lose out in the end?” Job 4:1-7 (The Message)

As a family of believers we are called to stand along side one another, keep and eye out for one another and stick up for one another. We are called to love one another and that means speaking a word of encouragement or direction into someone’s life, not being intimidated by their age or maturity in faith.

Lord, help me never to ignore a struggling friend. Help me to be obedient when You call me to be Your comfort. Amen.

Freedom for who?

Ruth and I went to visit some friends in Bath over the weekend and so on Sunday morning we joined them at their church. The Pastor of their church (with his sleeves rolled up, ready for action) was preaching from Colossians 4 and as he did I was struck by the level of fusion in the life of the Apostle Paul; it was genuine, it was real and it was unstoppable. It really challenged me.
Here, read it for yourself:

“Pray diligently. Stay alert, with your eyes wide open in gratitude. Don't forget to pray for us, that God will open doors for telling the mystery of Christ, even while I'm locked up in this jail. Pray that every time I open my mouth I'll be able to make Christ plain as day to them.
Use your heads as you live and work among outsiders. Don't miss a trick. Make the most of every opportunity. Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out.” Col 4:2-6

This is Paul’s instruction to a church.
He wrote this while in prison. This doesn’t mean that he was sat on a bunk wistfully penning these words in peaceful solitude. He was probably in a damp, cold stone walled cell. In all likelihood he had no bed at all and was tied with heavy chains to the wall! In the background… well, it may not have even been in the background, perhaps his ears were filled constantly with the sound of desperate people on the edge of sanity pleading for their to be saved.
It would not be my idea of a contemplative environment!

And yet from here Paul uses valuable space on a page to ask them to pray, not for his freedom (as you or I might, along with the rest of Paul’s cellmates) but for the freedom of the Gospel while he was there!
This is a level of fusion that I am nowhere near.
I find myself in situations that frustrate me and all of a sudden my prayer life is solely occupied, seeking deliverance from it. Hallelujah! But, from his example, that is not the focus that Paul would encourage. His attitude is that God is God. He knows our every heartbeat, and he certainly knows our every circumstance. If He thought a particular situation would not further His Kingdom or would harm our faith, He would removed us from it (Paul knew this all too well). Therefore, if Paul found himself in a prison cell, his removal from it at the right time was in safe hands; there was no need for him to take up the case as well. Instead, he encourages us to focus on sharing life where we are with whoever is near us. He wanted the freedom for the Gospel far more than his own freedom!
Do I hear an ‘Amen’? I would struggle.
So my prayer is, ‘Lord, help me to be a servant of your Gospel today. Remove my attention from my ever-present frustrations that I may focus on your Gospel and sharing it through my living, breathing and speaking. Amen.’

Steady on your feet.

I was sent an email by Andrew Gordon the other day that really entertained me. He was obviously still buzzing from our Sunday morning meeting at Bethel last week.

“Hope you enjoyed the service on Sunday...it was amazing...I was also very surprised at how different it is at the front...it's like being pushed forward by all the voices and cries of praise, whilst having the band blast towards you...an interesting conflict. (And if either side stops abruptly I'm bound to fall over!)”

This reminded me of something the Apostle Paul once wrote:
”Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Heb 12:1-2

Does your worship encourage others?
Andrew was lifted up by all of us behind him praising God.
In CS Lewis’ book ‘The Last Battle’ we find the children in the real Narnia. As they feel themselves being drawn in they run, heading towards their meeting with Aslan. They encourage one another crying out “further up, further in!”

We are all part of that ‘great cloud of witnesses’ for someone today.
I want to learn to be an encouragement to someone’s faith today.

Hearing birds sing.

It really isn’t that hard to hear birds singing.
I noticed this on my way home from work the other day.

Sat alone in my car, queuing in the traffic as usual, I took the opportunity to enjoy my music at volume way beyond what is normally acceptable. It was a treat even though its audio detail was being marred by the reverberating grumblings being emitted from the idling engine of a huge lorry to my left. Even the occasional revving of my own 1.3 Zetec engine was rendered inaudible thanks to this automotive giant snoring on the inside lane.
Even on my right traffic roared passed my window, annoyingly unhindered by any delay it would seem. I listened enviously as their engines faded in and out of the music that was pouring out of my stereo speakers. I began to wish that I lived in their direction.

Then, all of sudden, I realised that I could hear something. Something sweet and melodic over the torrent of automotive sound rushing by my ears. I could hear birds singing. Over all of this commotion I could still hear the birds singing to one another!

Why do I not usually hear them?
How loud must they be?!

As I thought about this phenomena, I was reminded of Elijah a reassuringly earthy prophet. A man awesomely on fire for God, a passionate pioneer, but whose emotions often found him missing God’s direction. 1 Kings 19:11-13
Then he was told, "Go, stand on the mountain at attention before GOD. GOD will pass by."
A hurricane wind ripped through the mountains and shattered the rocks before GOD, but GOD wasn't to be found in the wind; after the wind an earthquake, but GOD wasn't in the earthquake; and after the earthquake fire, but GOD wasn't in the fire; and after the fire a gentle and quiet whisper.
When Elijah heard the quiet voice, he muffled his face with his great cloak, went to the mouth of the cave, and stood there. A quiet voice asked, "So Elijah, now tell me, what are you doing here?"

I sometimes struggle my way through a day, praying desperately for help in various situations, and yet it seems that I often have to ‘wing it’ alone. Does God not want to help out? Why doesn’t God speak up? Why can’t I hear his guiding voice telling me to calm down before I say too much?!
But is it me? I must admit, on reflection I find the earthquake, wind and fire directing my life more than that easily disguised still small voice.

It seems so hard, if not impossible, to maintain a devotional lifestyle. Those heroes of faith didn’t have to contend with everything we have to cram into a day!

Really?! Who am I trying to convince!
When you read about what some of these guys achieved in their lives it is obvious that we do not know what ‘busy’ is! It isn’t busyness that is my problem it’s clutter. I clutter my mind with so much junk that it looses its focus.
How often do I find myself blurring the line between entertainment and ‘mind clutter’? I don’t want this to sound 'puritanical' (in a negative sense that is), because I don’t mean to be. There is a time for everything including entertainment, but the pursuit of entertainment over the pursuit of God end up with our heads filled with the wrong stuff. It is often the case that by the time I decide to seek God my mind is exhausted!
This is me unconsciously/consciously choosing not to listen. It is not by accident; it happens because I choose to let it happen.

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." Isaiah 30:21

My mum used to subscribe to the BBC Wildlife magazine. It was great, as kids we loved it… well, I loved it. On one occasion I remember it coming with a free audio cassette, ‘The Dawn Chorus’; an hour of birdsong recordings. I couldn’t get enough of this tape.
Eventually I became familiar with these calls. I could be walking to school and I would hear some chattering coming from a tree branches overhead and, without looking, I would know what sort of birds they were.

When I find myself struggling and being ineffective in my faith, seeing this fusion falter, it is because I have chosen not to listen. I cannot blame God for not shouting loud enough or for not making his point clearer.
A whisper from the Almighty is all we need.
It is just that my ears are ringing from all the clutter I bring in during the day.
Forgive me Lord

“God, make a fresh start in me, shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life. Don't throw me out with the trash, or fail to breathe holiness in me. Bring me back from grey exile, put a fresh wind in my sails!” Psalm 51:10-12

Wonderfully loved.

For the last few days the cross has just been buzzing around in my mind. It is as though my thoughts have been trying to capture some understanding of the vastness of it all [and failing]. But I find my spirit and heart both skipping, growing with excitement and joy. It is as though these thoughts, while somehow indefinable, are both a pleasure to me and praise to God. I can see Him smiling.
It is as though I am a child again looking at something that my father has created in absolute wonder. My childish eyes would widen with amazement because I couldn’t even begin to comprehend where you would begin to achieve what is now before me. It’s incredible and I would see my father smile enjoying my wonder.

This empty cross, this landmark of victory, is a call to living a life of fusion.

“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.“ Matt 16:24. Or as The Message puts it "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat; I am.”

As I thought this through a Rebecca St James song, which Ruth put on in the car on our way into work, really hit home. Previous overlooked it suddenly became my anthem for the day.

Love Being Loved By You
I’ve got this story in my heart
And its become my song
And I can’t help but sing
The cynics and the saints
The famous and unnamed
One day we will all fall before You
But I’m gonna bow today

Jesus, You are so wonderful
I cannot live without Your love
Jesus, You are so glorious
No one can move me like You do
I love being loved by You
I love being loved by You

So take me deeper still
Where Your mysteries are revealed
And I see You as You are
Oh, show me how to die
‘Til all that’s left of me
Is a mirror of everything You are
And I come before You complete

Who am I that You would notice me?
Who am I that You would think of me?
I stand in awe of Your amazing love
Who am I that You would rescue me?
Who am I that You would die?

Jesus, You are so wonderful
I cannot live without Your love

WE WIN!

I was at our usual church prayer meeting on Tuesday night. We found ourselves praying for the Sunday Night EXPLOSION. We stood around the cross and prayed for people to experience Salvation in their lives through the 2 minute Gospel and the music Todah will play.

As we stood around the cross praying we were reminded of the resounding victory we have.
“It is finished.” John 19:30

What was finished?
Death! Sin! The lot! We win. Can you believe it?! WE WIN!
“Where, O death, is your victory
Where, O death, is your sting!” 1 Cor 15:55-56

Doesn’t that just shake you up?!
You can feel a shout of victory welling up in you, can’t you?! You what to just shout it out, grab everyone’s attention. There is hope, there is a rescue!
“It is finished.” was Jesus’ victory roar which he whispered as he breathed his last… but the victory lap was yet to come. It was only a breath away, a stones roll away!

“God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins… he took it away, nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.” Col 2:13-15

Christ did not come for a walk in the park, a pleasant stroll.
He came to run the course; victory was all he had on his mind. He was focused; he was thinking of you! And there was a shout of triumph.
“For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost." Luke 19:10

It is finished; we win!

What makes life worth living?

“The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living.” Heb 11:1 (Msg)

By the time that I collapse back into bed at the end of another hectic day, I can sometimes find myself thinking about the burden of faith. But that is an illusionary thought of a tired mind; it is not the truth. When I think back through my day I know for certain that it is my faith, my trust in God, His promises over me, that gives me a lightness in my step and illuminates my every step. It puts solid rock beneath my feet. I may be frustrated and occasionally angry because I do not have any control or a voice over the things impacting my life, but I am assured [confident] that God, who is in control of all things, is with me; Immanuel [this name is not just for Christmas!]

I have spent a day with my Lord and saviour. His Spirit has promised to teach me and I have vowed to [and occasionally do] listen!
Is this true, or just my imagining?
Think about it for a while…

Do you have a burning inside, deep inside? That’s God’s bearing testimony to its truth in your life! Life is worth living – my life is worth living because Christ has breathed life into me. I am not hollow inside, He is resident in my life; what joy!

As I thought about the last paragraph a song from a Switchfoot album I have drifted through my mind. It reminds me of how much joy listening to the Holy Spirit’s whisper brings. This fire fuels our desire for fusion.

On Fire
Tell you where you need to go
Tell you when you need to leave
Tell you what you need to know
Tell you who you need to be

Everything inside you knows there's more than what you've heard
So much more than empty conversation filled with empty words

And you're on fire when He's near you
You're on fire when He speaks
You're on fire, burning at these mysteries

Give me one more time around
Give me one more chance to see
Give me everything You are
Give me one more chance to be

Everything inside me looks like everything I hate
You are the hope I have for change,
You are the only chance I'll take

When I'm on fire when You're near me
I'm on fire when You speak
I'm on fire burning at these mysteries
These mysteries

I've been standing on the edge of me
standing on the edge of me
standing on the edge of everything I've never been before
And I've been standing on the edge of me
standing on the edge

And I'm on fire when You're near me
I'm on fire when You speak
I'm on fire burning at these mysteries

“Now faith is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality [faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses].” Heb 11:1 (Amp)

Password: TH4NK YOU

Is it just me or does it seems like we are born cynical. We naturally find fault with things.
Try it out.
Think about last week... have you thought about all the things that went wrong or annoyed you? Things that could have been better.

When we are caught up with these we forget that we are blessed people!
When we forget how blessed we are we forget the password to gain access into God’s court, into His presence, His embrace – our joy. When we are critical or resentful it is no wonder we find it hard to find God; these aren’t the tools that draw us close to Him. Instead being armed with a simple password (our PIN number if you will) we can always enter His courts.

I was reminded of this on Sunday by Sarah, one of our worship leaders.

Here’s you’re password (it never expires!):
TH4NK YOU

Enter with the password: “Thank you!” Make yourselves at home, talking praise. Thank him. Worship him. For GOD is sheer beauty, all-generous in love, loyal always and ever.
Psalm 100:4-5 (Msg)


Try it out this week, see if it works. Use the password every day.
Thank you, Lord…
...for giving me a beautiful, intelligent and witty wife. You have made us for each other and I am blessed.
Thank you, Lord…
...for the house which you made available at the right time for the right price.
Thank you, Lord…
...for the sun light reflecting through the kitchen window this morning.
Thank you, Lord…
...for my family. It was great seeing my mum and dad over the week end. I am so happy that you blessed me with them. They bought me up well.
Thank you, Lord…
...for my education both in school and in your presence. Every day you are teaching me something new. How to follow you more closely, how to live more deeply.
Thank you, Lord…
...Kellogg’s Cornflakes are awesome, if you hadn’t have created the corn in the first place my breakfast would have been as nice! I thank you for the inventiveness that you have blessed us with to come up with brilliant food and stunning recipes. (I’m also looking forward to my Jamie Oliver inspired burgers that I’m having tonight).
Thank you, Lord…
...for our car. It works, which is great. It is comfortable, which is even better, and it has a CD player in it … may our lives be as filled with your praise as our car is!
Thank you, Lord…
...for the generosity of your people. If you were not in the habit of blessing, our friends would not have been able to give us their car just when we needed it most.
Thank you, Lord…
...for the church you have placed me in. I thank you for the people around me who encourage me to grow and those who pray for me without me realising it.
Thank you, Lord…
...for my pastor. Bless him real good; leave your calling card of blessing for him today.
Thank you, Lord…
...for my computer and this blog (I really thank you for broadband!).
Thank you, Lord…
....because I could go on and on…

Dr Livingston, I presume?

I am quite pleased with myself because Ruth and I actually made it along to THE LAB last night. We really enjoyed ourselves. I guess I would describe it as a time of reflective worship (with a cup of tea); good hearty worship tunes infused with time to meditate on, this week, God's mercy. I must compliment Justin and his team, they are working well to develop this 'experiment'.

On Easter Sunday rather than meeting at St Paul's they'll be meeting at Heroes Bar (Newport Leisure Centre) which I think is quite exciting. It reminds me that it is good for us to celebrate [but not worship] the heroes of our faith. (If you can't think of any Hebrews 11 will help :o)

Our worship is reserved only for our ultimate hero: JESUS! And our worship is our life which we live surrendered to Him.

Here is something that I read last week in my Word for Today about another hero of our faith.

Robert Livingston’s body is buried at Westminster Abbey but his heart (literally) remains in Africa. When this missionary doctor died, the Africans removed his heart and buried it in the land he loved. When he died, they found him in prayer with his Bible opened to Matthew 28. Beside verse 20 he had made this notation: 'The Word of a Gentleman.' Livingston could easily have lived comfortably in his native Scotland. What kept him in Africa? His arm was paralysed from a lion attack, he had suffered 27 bouts of jungle fever, and was exhausted from battling slave traders. Addressing the University of Glasgow, Livingston said, “What sustained me amidst the trials, hardships and loneliness of my exiled life, was the promise of a gentleman of the most sacred honour: it was this promise, 'Lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.' People talk about the sacrifice I have made. But can it be called a sacrifice when it is simply paying back a small part of a great debt I owe to God? A payment, that brings peace of mind and the hope of a glorious destiny? It is emphatically no sacrifice, it is a privilege!”

“I'll be with you… day after day after day, right up to the end of the age." Matt 28:20 (Message)

The Vine – Who’s choosy?!

”You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.” John 15:16

When I was in school I was rubbish at sports.
You would have to have taken leave of your senses if you picked me for your team from the line of students with their backs against the gymnasium wall. I was thin and unathletic. This meant that you could guarantee that people’s enthusiasm in picking their team had waned by the time myself and the bespectacled and overweight were left in the line up.
I didn’t feel hard done by; I wouldn’t have chosen me either!
There was no love loss. In the end I just stopped turning up for the lessons and willingly accepted the detentions that I was handed out as a fair trade.

My youngest sister was chosen though. As a family we adopted her.
When I was younger my parents began to foster children. Usually emergency cases; they’d receive a call late at night from Social Services and then they’d wait up for the children to arrive. Quite a few stayed with us over the years.
Eventually we began fostering Rebecca. A small, dark skinned girl with stunning eyes, a bright smile and a toy rabbit with no arms and one eye. He was called ‘Rabbit’ and he went everywhere with her. She was with us for some time and became part of our family. Mum and dad then chose to adopt her.

On the actual day of adoption we had to go, as a family, down to the court so that the judge could verify the adoption. The one we met looked exactly as you would expect a judge to look (I’m sure you know what I mean). He sat down and took of his wig. He smiled at Rebecca and told her that he didn’t have to wear it all of the time. He chatted with mum and dad for a while before finally asking the big question; ‘Why have you chosen to adopt Rebecca?’

I can still remember the judge asking this question all these years later. I don’t recall what mum and dad said, but the judge was satisfied that they had chosen Rebecca for all the right reasons and that she would be well placed in our family. He also asked Rebecca (and of course Rabbit) if she wanted to be part of our family forever.

Mum, dad, Rebecca and the judge may have all decided that this adoption was best but long before then God had chosen a family for my youngest sister. It would take some effort to get her in the right place at the right time, but it wasn’t too much for Him to handle. He had chosen her; he had plans for her and knew the family that He had prepared for her.

There are [more or less] 6 billion people on the planet today. Out of all of them God has chosen you. He knew that you’d be sat where you are right now, reading this and thinking the thoughts you are thinking. He has a purpose for you, there is fruit in your life that he is going to nurture. We are more than unique; we are chosen [by God]!

“Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Col 3:12-14

The Vine – Love? No worries!

"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends… This is my command: Love each other.” John 15:9-13, 17

Love each other?!
That’s it? Really!?
Not walking on water or making mountains move or parting the sea?
What about spending my life making a massive boat? Or giving up my job to spread the gospel?
That’s it, just remain in God’s love.
Easy! [I say with a confident shrug of my shoulders].
Easy? Really?! Think about it.
Last Sunday when you were in church, did you love everyone?
Yeah, of course. They’re my brother’s and sister’s. You mess with them you mess with me!
Really?! I’m talking about ‘love’ here, not just tolerating or co-existing. What about that person who’s voice just goes through you? What about the one that always tell you how bad their week has been? Or the person you can’t stand because of the way they discipline their children? Can you really say that you love the person who frustrates you because they never stand up to be counted? What about the one that is unconsciously rude to people, unaware of how their actions affect others? What about those you know who have drifted from church to church and you half suspect they’ll move on again at some point for some reason. Do you love them? Would you seriously volunteer to lay down your very life for them?
That’s tough. You can’t love everyone right?! I don’t hate them, does that count?
But we are commanded to love, aren’t we?
But that is just plain unreasonable. God knows, we can’t love everyone. It’s impossible.
Doesn’t “remain in [God’s] love” mean that we should love those it is unreasonable to love?
I can’t.
Neither can I, but we can rely on God’s heart to beat in our chests. Give Him free reign in our lives so that we can love as God loved.

One time, as I was driving along the motorway to my visit my parents, I was thinking about this very subject. At the time I was helping out with the Rough Sleepers Mission and I was troubled because I didn’t just want to hand out food and coffee to these guys on a Friday night. I wanted to have a real impact, to love them and not just [ineffectively] serve them.

As I thought/prayed about this I felt the Holy Spirit say that I would need to love them as Jesus loved them. It is only when we do this that we will dramatically impact people’s lives as Jesus did. When we see this sort of love consume us we will see the miraculous.

Allowing this to sink in I asked God to show me how he loved. I have never forgotten the result of this prayer.

As I drove along a gentleman that I was working with at the time came to mind. Generally he angered me. He was an objectionable character and more than that a bad manager and a lazy worker with no understanding of what he was doing! He was also going through a divorce but I was very unsympathetic. From the things that he said about his wife it was clear that he was not a successful husband (I couldn’t pass judgement on her part in the breakdown). Worse than that he was angry with his wife and did not think twice about using their young son to get back at her. Using him as a weapon. He was even failing as a father!
But as he came into my head I felt God warn me; ‘This is how I love’. I suddenly found my anger go. Not just go it was consumed, invaded, overcome by love, a deep love for this fellow man. Not a love for his character or actions or attitudes, but a love for him.
Despite my reasoned loathing of him at that moment I would have laid down my life for him. I wanted him to know his Heavenly Father’s love at any cost because he was worth it, he needed it.
This could have only lasted a moment but I remember crying out that it was too much to bear. This love was too much. As I felt God take the weight of this love I became aware that He was teaching me; ‘You can only love like this through Me, it does not come from you. Live leaning against Me so that you can hear My heart beat. So that you can feel it beating through you, in you. People want to see this heart beat, my heart beat, in your life.’
Life and love are combined in this beat, God’s heart beat.

We do not have to strive to love those that we do not naturally love. We surrender completely to God, allowing Him to love through us. Today we can give God free reign of our hearts. It’s OK we can trust him because we know He loves us. That is the question over my life today; will I surrender to God?

The Vine – The taste test!

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.” John 15:5-8

Here we are, still banging on about ‘fruit’ and ‘gardening’ and ‘pruning’!
But the more I have been mulling over Jesus’ words in my mind I am beginning to realise their importance and practical application; this was some serious discipleship training Jesus was involved in here. When I studied this chapter in college (re: yesterday’s blog) we focused on Jesus’ famous “I am…” sayings, our attention was on Jesus. Ironically, Jesus’ attention was not on himself, it was on us!

Here is Jesus’ description of a disciple; a ‘fruit bearer’.
Seems pretty simple.
When Jesus first called Peter, his brother and a couple of other fishermen, tax collectors, and zealots etc, it was not their immediate response (their decision to leave everything and follow) that made them disciples, it was their bearing of fruit that defined them. This wasn’t always an easy process either; fruit bearing is not all blossom and sweetness, before the fruit is ready it is bitter to taste. This doesn’t mean that it is bad fruit, it just means that it needs more time to ripen. This comes naturally to trees but is such a struggle for us!

According to Jesus attending church every week, loving Bible studies, going along to prayer meetings, helping with the cleaning, does not make you a disciple; bearing ‘much fruit’ is the sign of our discipleship that he is looking for, just as a farmer expects to see fruit on his trees as he walks through his orchard. We are not God’s decoration for this world, His spiritual garnish! We are the flavour, the fruit, the filling!

What is the fruit we should be bearing?
Is it bringing all our friends to faith in Christ? Starting up an international ministry? Joining the church worship team? What is it?!
The trouble is we are always looking for the physical signs of fruit but in reality these are just the result of fruiting. The ‘fruit’ that shows we are Jesus’ disciples is how we ‘flavour’ our own life and the lives of those around us in our thoughts, our conversation, our reactions, our demeanour.
“You're here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavours of this earth.” Matt 5:13 (Message) If we leave a bitter taste for people to experience then it shows the world that we are not Jesus’ disciples. Or, if they are less discerning, they will be left thinking that Jesus is not a nice piece of work and definitely not worth following because of us!

There is a Rebecca St James song that Ruth and I have been listening to loads recently (it is of course based on Matt 25):

Beautiful Stranger
“Do you see me?”
The question’s in her eyes
“Do you relate to the pain I can’t disguise?”
Oh, look beyond what you see
The outside is not all there is

Won’t You tell me now, when did I see
You in need of water?
Oh, and tell me now, when did I see You
Hungry on the street?
God, I hear You calling out to me
In the voices of the least of these
Calling me to reach beyond my world
To the beautiful stranger
Beautiful Stranger

He does not look like everyone else
Does not fit in anywhere I know
You ask me to be Your hands
And show him now that he is loved

There’s beauty that lies deep within
Waiting to be discovered
God help me see what You see
The diamond in the stone

The Vine – Cut backs?

I’m still in John 15 :o)

“… every branch that does bear fruit he [our Heavenly Father, the gardener] prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.” John 15:2

We read this and think that it all seems reasonable, but in reality pruning only makes sense from the point of view of the gardener; to the plant it seems like senseless torture which it just tries to recover from. Little does the plant realise that because of the pruning it will actually bear more fruit in due season.

The same can be said in our lives.
We must trust our Heavenly Father’s pruning. This seems so hard to do in practice because it feels so invasive and painful, it is this that often hinders us seeing beyond what we are going through!
If only life could be easier!
Let me share my story, but please bear with me; it is messy, incoherent and incomplete… but I know that the author is working on it still.

After doing my GCSEs in 1990 I didn’t really know what I wanted to do with my life, so I just went along to Sixth Form College and picked some subjects that sounded interesting. This resulted in me doing two A levels; Statistical Maths and Religious Studies. Within the first few weeks of term my maths teacher took me to one side and informed me that they did not think that I had the natural aptitude for the subject and recommended that I focus on my other subject. I was outraged and in a fit of teenage rebellion refused. I studied like never before (because I really didn’t have a natural aptitude for the subject) and it took such a lot of effort to pass, but I did it. I didn’t do that well in RS though. We discussed serious religious issues [in far more detail than the syllabus required] until I eventually decided to be baptised. I gave my life to Christ but didn’t do too well in the exam.
By my graduation I realised that I wanted to go into the film industry. I prayed about this and felt a confirming spirit within me. I took up photography and applied to a bunch of universities that offered practical courses but didn’t get into any of them because they required a background in art. Every door was slammed shut even though I had prayed about it. What’s a man to do!
Having failed to get in anywhere I applied to get into a local art school to gain the entry qualification in art that I required. I had no art work to support my application for the art school except my GCSE photography work. At this time I was incredibly shy and didn’t like talking to people (the thought of it would make me sweat!). I decided that I needed to behave more confidently or at least make people think I was confident. My plan to achieve this was to look people in the eye as I talked with them (as opposed to looking away all the time). I tried this out at my interview for the art college. Miraculously, despite no previous experience in drawing/painting/sculpture etc they accepted me a few weeks before the start of term.
In that year I gained a huge wealth of creative experience. As a result of this I was able to get into my first choice university, Newport Film School, even though I argued with the lecturer as to what I believed the role and purpose of filmmaking was in society.
Arriving in Newport I began to look for a church to attend for the next three years. Coming from a Baptist church in Horsham [West Sussex] I marked all of the Baptist churches on my street map and began going along to them each in turn. I’m still not sure how, but one Sunday in January 1994 I turned up to a church that I had not marked on my map called Bethel Temple Pentecostal Church. Beats me how this happened but it did. Even though it felt uncomfortable different from my previous church, I knew this was where God wanted me planted for the time being and so who was I to argue – it is not for me to choose where God wants to place me! “Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.” John15:4
By the time I graduated from university Wales had become my home and I soon got a job with a video production firm in Ebbw Vale. This was great experience but it began to occupy more and more of my time, invading time that belonged to God. In the end I began praying silently for a release from this situation because I knew that it was not spiritually healthy for me. The company then closed the down in January 1997 and I found myself unemployed.
I initially looked for film related jobs but to no avail. Then during a long summer of unemployment I spent my time helping out down the church as we gutted our church hall and redecorated it. Through out this time I had to put must trust and reliance on God for my finances and future. It was hard going and rarely made any sense to me but He never let me down. I eventually had a string of short term jobs which paid enough to live on. This taught me to be satisfied in God more than anything else.
Eventually I found myself being employed by the Office for National Statistics in January 1998, another unexpected door opened up by God! I continued to help out with various things down the church and was eventually roped into helping out with stewarding at an Alpha conference. It was here that I began to feel God really stirring me. Nicky Gumble spoke about every aspect of organising a successful Alpha course which included structured prayer support. The more he talked about this the more I felt my spirit stirring and my stomach churning (since the idea of being involved in corporate prayer terrified me, I still didn’t like speaking in front of people really). In the end when he called people forward to be prayed over [and released] I found myself moving out of my seat – my legs seemed to be responding obediently while my mind was still arguing my comfortable corner!
I was prayed over but nothing much then happened. Just normality.
The Alpha course we ran in our church was a huge success. I invited a girl in work along called Ruth. She eventually became a Christian (her wrestle with God is another story) and later my wife. Slowly prayer became less scary for me, and I began to join any group in the city that were praying in Jesus’ name. I used to meet up with various folk in St Julian’s Methodist church every alternate Saturday morning, and down the Kings on Thursday morning at 6am! All of this built up relationships and introduced me to God’s idea of His church.
Before long I began organising times of prayer in our church. Praying and fasting for key events. I was soon going on weekly prayer walks around Baneswell early in the morning. I even felt led to start organising a whole day of prayer! Before long we began to inviting as many churches in Newport as we could. 12hrs of prayer soon became 24hrs, each time God seemed to use this event to engage his bride, the church, in a fresh way until it developed into FUSION. As an event, it is clear to me now, no one other than God owns it. He has sculpted this prayer event and more than that, He has sculpted me. I am confident that He is also sculpting a FUSION team, a group of individuals whose messy tales God has used to prepare them for their role in His story.

This is part of my story of God’s pruning. It seems messy and poorly thought out; full of ‘dead ends’ and frustrations, achievements alongside failures. If I’m honest I would say that I have exhausted myself resisting God more frequently than I have relied upon Him; this has not been a thunderously victorious story of fusion. But through each step God was preparing me for His service today. The things that He is doing in my life (unwelcome as they are occasionally) will bear fruit tomorrow. I would be lying if I said at any point that I enjoyed the pruning process; it has always been uncomfortable, unsettling and unexpected (because I will have my eye on the ‘easy life’ rather than the ‘victorious life’). It is only when I begin to see the fruit that I welcome the pruning, and even when I do it never prepares me for the next cut. The gardeners work still seems strange and unexpected to me but if He did not I would not bear the fruit that I am designed to bear!

The same is true in your life.

The Vine - Full on gardening.

The other morning I was reading something that Jesus once told his disciples. And because they (inspired by the Holy Spirit) were prudent enough to write it down, Jesus now speaks it into our lives. What he is saying is massive, so I just want to dwell on it over the next few days.

[Jesus said] “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.” John 15:1

My Dad is a gardener, not by occupation but by nature (although now he does occasionally get paid for it). He has been one for as long as I have been alive; he was also a gardener long before I appeared.
When I say that my father is a gardener I’m not talking about someone who keeps his lawn in order and repopulates his flower beds every spring. No, I mean my Dad is a hard-core full on gardener. As long as I can remember he has had an allotment in which he grows a variety of vegetables and fruit. He grew enough to last us for a good long time and any surplus, of which there always was some, he would bag up and put on a chair at the end of the drive to sell to passers by. I loved the idea of this chair. It would stand confident at the end of the drive piled high with vegetables and a little pot for people to put their money in. It would stay out there unmanned until all the good were gone and in that time no-one ever stole coins from the pot or vegetables without paying for them first. Mad! It was as though this chair belonged to a bygone age but everyone still respected it.

He also built his own green house in our back garden from scratch. This proud wooden structure even withstood the 1987 hurricane which hit our part of the country! In this green house he grows his seedlings and tomatoes, so many tomatoes. He also used to grow his own flowers, chrysanthemums if I remember correctly. I presume that he grew them on his allotment too, and every so often he would bring a big bunch home for mum.

Gardening, while undoubtedly a pleasure to him, was not a ‘hobby’. Pass times can be picked up and put down at any time but gardening requires all of you attention; you either give yourself to it or you don’t. To be a gardener you need to know what time of the year it is, and what happens in that season, you need to plan for it to get the best out of it. You need to know the quality of your soil and how to maintain it. You need to know when to plant, when to cut back, when to mulch. Being a gardener does not always mean that you are directly involved in your plants, at times you have to just let them grow.

In a similar way we may feel at times that God, as our gardener, may not be directly involved in our lives; he simply allows us to grow in between times of pruning or watering. But that is only the half of it! In those times when we are unaware of His presence, God is planning for the seasons ahead; He is getting ready to protect us against the frost, He watches us carefully keeping us well positioned, moving us if we need it. He ensures that we are well watered and protected from pests. He is checking the soil, deciding what nutrients need to be added to keep it healthy and therefore keeping us healthy. God keeps His hands dirty as He constantly tends to us, more so than we can imagine.

This is just a simile though. In reality there is a fundamental difference between us the plants a real gardener has to tend to; we can choose whether we live [and thrive] or die [and wither]. Plants will attempt to grow and bear fruit no matter what. They will hunt out any drop of water they can, they will absorb every ray of sunlight and every nutrient in the soil They do this as though they have no choice, and of course they don’t; God commanded them to multiply and that is what they must obey (Gen1:11-13). We have a choice. We can choose to obey; the choice and consequence is ours. God can tend to us, improve the soil, offer us frost protection, water us, feed us, but it is up to us whether we absorb this goodness and bear fruit.

It may be that what we are called to do the thing that would give us the most pleasure, but ‘fruit’ doesn’t just appear in our lives. We may be in the right place, receive the right food, but if we decide not to do anything with it, in the end, we will always wither [in faith and in fullness of life].

Today, the challenge on my life is will I respond to the touch of my heavenly Gardener in my life? Every morning we may sense his green fingered touch and succumb to it that he may skilfully work in our lives as we choose to bear fruit.

Fitted for action.

The whole point of fusion is not for us.
Sure we benefit from communing closely with God, becoming more like Christ, however its real purpose is to benefit the world. God so loved the world that He gave His Son, but the continuation of this love is that He now gives His church.

I wrote a blog the other day after reading Psalm 23. When doing so I noticed the following footnote in my Amplified Bible (a Bible that I surreptitiously acquired from my mum some time ago, she doesn’t realise that it is a permanent arrangement :o):
“It is difficult for those living in a temperate climate to appreciate, but it was customary in hot climates to anoint the body with oil to protect it from excessive perspiration. When mixed with perfume, the oil imparted a delightfully refreshing and invigorating sensation. Athletes anointed their bodies as a matter of course before running a race. As the body, therefore, anointed with oil was refreshed, invigorated, and better fitted for action, so the Lord would anoint His ‘sheep’ with the Holy Spirit, Whom oil symbolizes, to fit them to engage more freely in His service and run in the way He directs--in heavenly fellowship with Him.”

Isn’t that awesome God’s anointing leaves us refreshed [every day], invigorated [and alert to what’s going on] and better fitted for action! The course of your race will be different from mine, but God’s anointing prepares us for the race perfectly and keeps us in shape. Whatever course lies before each of us, we are all called to live for Christ; to shine out the hope of salvation to those who live and work around us. There are no days off, no holidays, its full-time; 24-7-365. It’s life, real life! As a result we must take care not to burn out.
“Be good friends who love deeply… Don't burn out; keep yourselves fuelled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder.” Rom 12:10-12

Have you ever run a long distance race?
I have… well it was a ‘fun run’ really, but it was 3 miles!
Our office does this every year (why is beyond me), and a few years ago I was badgered into it. The only concession was that I could dress up as Patrick McGoohan from ‘The Prisoner’. The thought of this amused me for some reason. And indeed it did, but it was tough running 3 miles in a blazer and deck shoes! I looked good though :o)

What I learnt from this (aside from never doing it again) was to never stop running!
Never quit!
Running was tough. Keeping up a good pace was hard going. After a while the pack of runners had spread out and I was on my own (except for Rover – a white balloon that I had following me on a piece of string… if you have seen the show you will appreciate how funny this was). Never having run the course before I had no idea how to pace myself or how far I had left; I just had to keep going. Every muscle in my legs ached but they kept on going, I knew it was for a purpose; to reach the finish line.
Near the end though my legs got the better of my mind and I decided to stop for a breather and walk a little. BIG MISTAKE! I cannot stress this enough, if you start a race never stop – it’ll kill you! It felt good for a moment but when I tried to start running again I realised my legs had finished their race. Every stride I took was more painful than the previous and within no time at all I wish I had never stopped.

We must be wise of our time and physical limitations (it is only God who operates outside of time not us! – a simple but important thing to remember if you are tempted to cram 36hrs of stuff into a 24hr day! It’s impossible!!!). We avoid burning out not by stopping for a while in our race, but by refuelling; keeping ourselves and our faith aflame. How you do this may be different from me but it is essential.

Stay fuelled, stay aflame and keep running; keep on shining in the dark. Let the world see the effect of salvation in our lives! Let them see fusion at work; living, rejoicing, liberating.

Forgiven for a purpose!

“All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us.” 2Cor 1:3-4 (Message)

We are forgiven for a purpose; we are comforted [by God] so that we can be of benefit to others. We are here for a reason; redeemed and forgiven for a purpose, for a time such as this. We are not here to bide our time at the station waiting for the glory train. We have a calling on our lives; to shine His light.
It’s Monday morning and we are here to give the world hope. To live out our salvation life in plain view.
“Go out into the world uncorrupted, a breath of fresh air… Provide people with a glimpse of good living and of the living God. Carry the light-giving Message into the night.” Phil 2:15 (Message)

Does being call to comfort sound too cute or coochy?
Not tough enough?

‘Comfort’ comes from the same root word as ‘fortify’. How mad is that! To offer comfort is to place a fortress around someone, to defend them, to halt the enemy’s advance! Does that sound weak or woolly?
When we offer comfort to someone we build a castle around them!

In their day castles were at the cutting edge of military hardware. Everyone wanted them; if you had one, you were unstoppable. Some castles even designed to boast about their own might. All you really needed was a drawbridge and a portcullis to be pretty well defended, but some castle designers went over the top. They put in five, six or even seven portcullises. Why? Because it said to any passer by bent on invasion, ‘don’t even bother, mate.’
“The LORD is the strength of his people, a fortress of salvation…” Ps 28:8
We are safe in God’s hands. Our redemption is secure.
Jesus even mocked the invader of our soul, the destroyer of our hope, when he rose from the dead – victorious over sin and death! Paul writes in Eph 4:8 that Christ “led captivity captive!” (Amp), or as we would say “In your face!!!!”

“God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun.
So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose?” Rom 8:29-31 (Message)

I don’t want to just ‘twinkle’ today. Who knows how long we have; how long until Christ wraps things up? This hope we have is not a dim and distant flicker, a ‘light at the end of the tunnel’. It is now, it’s real, it defies ‘captivity’.
C’mon! Let’s radiate our salvation!

"Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon you.” Is 60:1 (NIV)

Victoriously forgiven!

It's snowing, really quite heavily :o) but that means that I can't make it in to church today :o(
A mixed bag of blessings. I'd prefer church over snow any day though... which means that church must be real good.


Do you sometimes feel as though sin is not defeated in your life?
Well, it’s not true; sin is defeated – the cross saw to that! But we are to die to self every day, although some days I forget this and I find myself falling so easily into sin. It feels as though salvation didn’t reign at all in my life!
I get so frustrated and angry with myself on days like this. I hate the way that sin hurts me [the real me, the born again, rescued, living-by-faith-not-by-sight me]. I hate the way it hurts my beloved saviour, the One I want to serve, upon whose face I want to cause a smile to appear.

We do not need to submit to sin though; we do not have to accept its presence in our lives. God is rich in mercy and forgives and we can run to Him. If God forgave as consistently as we do we’d be done for, but He doesn’t. Phew! He is our strong tower, our fortress; a fortress whose walls destroy the enemies attack!

When I was in secondary school we all went away for a week in the Lake District. The week was packed with various activities, not all of which I enjoyed (but all of which I would do again if given the chance!). On one day a group of us went sailing. I had never sailed before. Of course the comedy classic occurred, i.e. the sailing instructor said “mind the boom”, to which I replied “mind the what?!” before being hit in the head by the object in question. If it was on You’ve Been Framed! I would have laughed so hard… but it wasn’t. I have never forgotten what a boom is or how fast it moves and how quickly it needs to be avoided!



After our initial training we were paired up and sent off in little sailing dinghies. Before long we forgot everything we had been taught (see above) and as a result the wind kept flipping our boat over hurling us into the lake. Having found yourself in this situation you could either choose to bob about in the cold water (no doubt being sized up by numerous unseen submerged predators … or at least that is what concerned me) or get back in the boat. To do this you had to pull yourself up onto the boats fin [if that is what it is called], your weight would then cause the boat to right itself (at this moment you had to remember to move out of the way so that the boat didn’t land on you!). Then you could drag your soaked body out of the water and into the boat. We spent the whole day perfecting this manoeuvre!

The same is true in our lives. Sin would like to be a disabling force in our lives, but it is not (although it can be if we are stubborn and refuse God’s help). We get up and ask forgiveness and strength not to succumb to the same trap. Our victory and strength is in the fact that we are redeemed and forgiven. What is more this is not reliant on our ability to remain pure but because God is able [more than able] to keep us pure [when we rely fully on Him]!

I was reminded of this as I listened to a song by Rebecca St James in the car the other day:

Forgive Me
For all the times I’ve failed You, Lord
Forgive me
For all the ways I’ve fallen short
Lord, forgive me now
God, I’m so in need of grace
I fall upon my face
Forgive me

You see the tears fall down my face
Forgive me
Take my fear, Lord, take my shame
Lord, forgive me now
Purify me, make me new
Like only You can do
Forgive me now

Lord, we come to honour You
We are forgiven
We bring our love and thanks to You
We are forgiven now

God we praise You for Your grace
Before You we are raised
Forgiven
God we praise You for Your grace
Before You we are raised
Forgiven
Forgiven

We fail, we trip up, we sin, but we are also forgiven!
Not that we rejoice in being able to sin, we rejoice in the strength of our forgiveness. Every time we fail our prayer is the same ‘breathe holiness in me, Lord’. It is a prayer for fusion in our lives, in every bit of our lives… even the parts we want to hide from view.

“Generous in love – God, give grace! Huge in mercy – wipe out my bad record. Scrub away my guilt, soak out my sins in your laundry…
I've been out of step with you for a long time…
What you're after is truth from the inside out. Enter me, then; conceive a new, true life…
God, make a fresh start in me, shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life. Don't throw me out with the trash, or fail to breathe holiness in me. Bring me back from grey exile, put a fresh wind in my sails! …
God, my salvation, I'll sing anthems to your life-giving ways. Unbutton my lips, dear God; I'll let loose with your praise.” Psalm 51:1-2, 5-6,10-12,15-16

Going mental for the lentil!

“Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honouring each other.” Rom 12:10

Last night I was absolutely inspired and thrilled by being invited to ABLAZE (the youth group at Bethel Community Church). During the past year they had been discussing the major issues that their generation faces with a heartfelt longing to honour God in all they do. Obviously relationships featured strongly in this and eventually they asked their youth leaders if they could do ‘The Silver Ring Thing’. This is where they make a public declaration to stand against the flow of society and honour God [and themselves] by abstaining from sex until marriage.

In the service they each stood up and explained to the gathering of friends and family why they wanted to do this. As each one of them spoke up it was clear that their delight was in God; He was their pleasure! They were refusing to accept the values of this world not just for the sake of it but to honour God. Last night they were making a stand in their personal lives to honour God and defend their generation. To shine with a God fuelled alternative.

Pastor Andrew stood to speak and reminded us of one of David’s Might Men, Shammah (2Sam 23:11-12) who decided to stand his ground and defend what was his. God won a mighty victory on that day, and God will do the same in the lives of each one of these young people.

As we listened to each one in turn, and prayed for them, it was clear that ABLAZE was not just a catchy youth group name, it defined and described this group of young people; they were ablaze for God and intended to shine in their generation!

I just want to honour them.
They are an inspirational group. Each one of them has a different personality and different qualities, but they are all responding to God with all of their heart!

Trading up.

Did you ever read the Peanuts comic?
There was this character – I don’t remember his name – who used to be always surrounded by flies (he’s the one on the left… obviously).

My wife would claim I have a similar ‘problem’ with scraps of paper.
Personally, I don’t consider it a ‘problem’, but she goes nuts when she finds them lying around the house!

What really winds her up is that she has no idea whether these scraps of paper are useful or not. What is more she knows that I would be just as clueless but she can’t just throw them out just in case.

For example, about my person right now (i.e. on my desk, in my bag or pockets) I have a number of aged Post-It notes, each listing a different number of CDs I may want to buy. I’ll keep these. Here’s a scrap of paper with screening times for a bunch of films that are no longer showing. This can be binned. Out it goes.
What else is there, a Pay & Display parking ticket with someone’s mobile number written on it. I’m not sure whose it is now, so why have I kept it!? Bin it.
There are also a few church news sheets with some stuff that I jotted down during the service. Some of it I can no longer read since it was badly written in the first place (I don’t even remember writing it!). Some of it is much clearer and reminds me of what God had been saying to me in the meetings. Some of it can be kept some of it can go. I should really go through these more often :o)
What have we here? A handful of Post-It notes (various sizes) all stuck together. Some of them have ideas for the next FUSION on them, others have doodles (of what is anyone’s guess), and a there’s also a list of fonts that I like the look of! These could be useful so I’ll put all these back in my bag. I can begin to see why Ruth gets annoyed when she finds some of these!

I also have twenty or so pages torn out of old copies of Word For Today. As I flick through them it now seems a complete mystery as to why I kept them in the first place, but some are absolute jewels. As relevant to me today as when I tore them out.
One such torn page I re-discovered the other day dated back a year or so. I read it again and was surprised by how poignant it seemed after Tuesday’s post.

This is what I read:
If you are serious about discipleship, here are three requirements:
1) deny yourself …
2) take up your cross …
3) follow Him. Too often we take God's presence for granted because He said He would never leave us. But He also said: “You did not choose me...I chose you” (John 15:16). It is not God's job to follow you, it is your job to follow Him! When you do, it will cost you, change you, and challenge you. Sometimes you will go through valleys, other times you will stand with Him on the mountaintop. You must be willing to follow Him anywhere, any time, under any conditions; that is the deal! Still want to be a disciple of Jesus?

Reading this reminded me of the closing tracks on David Crowder’s latest CD.
“Dying is a strange concept to live by. Yet that is what we are called to; forsaking life to gain it. A close friend of mine suggests we look at it as trading up; discarding our tiny self-centred story for a grander, eternal one.” – David Crowder

I hope all of this justifies my scrap paper collection in my wife’s eyes. I doubt it will though.

Praise Habit – You are here.

As I said in yesterday’s blog I have just finished reading a book by David Crowder called Praise Habit. I totally recommend it. The desire David [Mr Crowder] has is that we engage with both God and with people needing God [and salvation]. This comes across in his voice, his words and his music.

This passage is how David Crowder concludes his book. It lays down a Holy Spirit inspired challenge for each of us; for me and for you. It is about living with a heart for fusion.



YOU ARE HERE

There is a sign in my favorite restaurant, 1424, which happens to be located directly across the street from my house, that hangs by the bar and states, in black letters on a pale-yellow background, "You Are Here." I call often for takeout. I pretend that they are my residential kitchen staff that just so happens to cook the most flavorful foods on the planet. The chef's name is Bill, and he knows exactly how I like my pork tenderloin. We have never discussed it; he just knows. He's always known. And as I wait for my order to be packed in white Styrofoam and placed in a plastic bag for transport. I sit at the bar and read, "You Are Here," and it brings a comfort and solidity to things. You often hear or encounter inspirational art convincing you to live as if today is the last, to engage each moment as if it were all we had, but usually this is married to the idea that it is. That this is it. There is nothing more than now. All we get is what we suck out of this moment. But I disagree. I read, "You Are Here," and I am equally inspired to be fully present in this moment, but it is not because that is all I have but because I am bringing something more. I am bringing the very kingdom of God. I read, "You Are Here," and I, ignoring the dramatic punctuation of finality, think, ”The kingdom of God is sitting at this bar, waiting to bring something better." We are to be rescue. We are to be redemption. We are to carry the story of God to the ones waiting. To the ones with their hands on their chest, begging you to notice that things aren't right. And this is praise. You are the note sounding in a thousand different rooms. There are chords and reflective surfaces around you. There is context.

Sometimes life comes at us with the delicacy of a sunset, and other limes it comes with the rawness of sushi and the bitter bite of wasabi [sauce]. Sometimes the tears will be because you cannot stand empty-eyed in the presence of such beauty and sometimes they will be full of fire, but notice/know this: You are here. You Are Here! You are here and you are not alone.

Look me in the eyes. Can you feel the fabric on your skin? It is woven from the threads of love. Pay attention to the way it folds around you, sense its softness, brush the hair of your arms as you lift them toward the heavens in unencumbered declaration.

It is the coverings of rescue that you feel. It is a flood. It is an ocean. It is a sea that has no bottom, for there is no end to it. To be fully present in the rescue and recreation of Christ is to embrace what God does for us, and this is the best thing we can do for Him.

- David Crowder

Praise Habit - Come to Jesus.

I have just finished reading a book by David Crowder called Praise Habit. I totally recommend it to anyone. However, I must warn you, he is a [very] quirky man, but one who’s heart has been totally touched by God. In his music, his words, his presence his desire is for people to engage with God and with people needing God. As you read his book you feel he loves you as much as he loves his saviour! (Matt 2:36-40)

Today and tomorrow I want to share two passages with which he concludes his book. They have really impacted me a lot. It is filled with a heart for fusion.


COME TO JESUS

To follow Jesus doesn't remove us from the stuff of life. It is not resolution. It is tension and journey. 1 John 2:6 states, "Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did". Jesus was in the world, engaged, alive, involved, making a difference. To follow Him we must do the same. His prayer for us in John 17 is "Not that you take them out of the world ..." and "As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world" (v15,18). This is what God has done for us. He has come into our condition. He has come to bring us back. He has come and embraced us. He has come and covered us in Himself. Watch this Christ. Watch as He is accused of being a drunkard, of associating with tax collectors. Watch as He brings healing to the afflicted, love to prostitutes, forgiveness to sinners. Watch as He climbs the hill bearing His destruction on His back. Watch as blood and water flow. Watch as salvation comes to us all. Watch as glory ascends to come again. Watch and fall in love with a God who does not resolve, whose rescue is never-ending. Whose prayer is that you would be that rescue. Who sends you to be that rescue. Be courageous. Even as you stand there hiding in the bushes, shaking to the bottom of your toes, frightened of what's to follow, what consequences will come of it, know that evil will not prevail. That you are not alone. That you bring the kingdom of God and there is hope. There is hope always. And others will walk out of dark places and see you standing there, arms outstretched, given completely to this hope.

Praise is response. Praise happens when there is revelation, and there is revelation waiting for us around every bend, in places we would not suspect. Our task is to live with eyes wide open to God's greatness because when we see the imprint of the Creator, our insides will swell with devotion, our hearts will erupt with thankfulness. You will live, breathe, and radiate praise. The habit isn't in learning flow to praise; it is in reminding yourself who to praise. It is a remembering of who you are. It is a remembering of your identity. Praise is redeemed and redefined with rescue. When you have been found by grace, your identity is swallowed in Christ. You are enveloped by Him, clothed in His merciful sacrifice. To live in this remembrance is to bring awareness of Christ into your every encounter. In this awareness you bring His embrace to the things you embrace.
- David Crowder