Unconfirmed laughing.

I am back in action.
Our baby daughter has arrived. She is only 3 weeks old but I would swear blind that I have not slept in months! [which is mostly why this blog has been inactive until now – blame Hannah :o) hehehe]

Last week I was sat up cradling my crying baby in the wee small hours of the morning (the ‘joys’ of parenting), dreaming of uninterrupted sleep and knowing that she had no appreciation of the sacrifice that I was making for her. As these thoughts drifted through my sleep deprived mind, I began to have a greater understanding of a significant verse of scripture:
“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Rom 5:8 NIV)
Or to read it another way:
“Christ arrives right on time... He didn't, and doesn't, wait for us to get ready. He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn't been so weak, we wouldn't have known what to do anyway.” (MSG)

These first few weeks of parenting are strange because this beautiful baby demands/requires so much from us but offers nothing in return. We have to sacrifice sleep, time, energy, pleasures, money, be responsive to her cries and clean up the horrible mess we find in her nappies just to ensure that she grows and remains healthy. In return we get nothing; not a smile, ‘thank you’ or anything. The return is in the future, our sacrifice is an investment [of love].

Realising this has really highlighted the sacrifice that God made for me. I was once as unresponsive as my daughter Hannah despite the huge sacrifice God made for us.

Having said this, I swear that Hannah laughed at me the other day, but she has not done it since. This was not a smile which could be the result of wind – I have seen a lot of these. You see, I sat down with her on my lap and she pulled one of her spectacular ‘surprised’ faces, these always make me laugh. As I giggled she looked back at me and began to laugh! I’m not kidding – this was not a smile, but a laugh. I thought I imagined it at first and so I laughed again, and so did she. In fact the more I laughed the more she laughed. In no time at all I was crying because she was making me laugh so hard! It was great.

This was the fist sign of recognition that I have received from her. It was beautiful, but if this was all I ever got I would not know for certain that she was not developing in a healthy manner. Similarly, to begin with God is looking for that smile, that moment of recognition. No wonder all of Heaven rejoices at the redemption of a soul! But if all we did was smile it would not be a healthy sign (in fact in no time at all we’d look retarded!).

Just as I [try to] enjoy every little moment with Hannah – even when she is not smiling – I am looking forward to the first time she picks something up, the first time she eats solid foods, the first time she walks, her first words, her first drawing, her first day in school, the first time she makes friends, the first time she adds up faster than me, the first time rides her bike, her first driving lessons, the first time she brings a boyfriend home, the first time she brings a pay cheque home, the first time I look at my little girl in her wedding dress as I escort her down the isle… all these things I look forward to. Likewise, God looks forward to every little development in our faith, in our life. This year I want to ensure that I develop my faith and trust in God. I want to make God smile as I live life with my hand in His, joyfully and securely treading the path He has set before me.

- Andrew Carey